1. "If my heart were a baked potato, I"d serve it to you with extra butter and sour cream."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
2. "Your terrible personality isn't so terrible after a few drinks and even when I sober up, it"s not as terrible as everyone says."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
3. "I"d shave my entire body with a dull, rusty razor blade and take a vinegar bath for you."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
4. "I am rubber, you are glue, any feelings you have for me bounce off and stick to you. Ironically, I feel the same way."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
5. "The other day I saw this little girl day drop her whole ice cream cone on the ground and start bawling. After I stopped laughing, I thought, "I"m the same way when you don't call when you say you will."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
6. "I saw you in the morning, on the toilet, and I didn't run screaming. So there."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
7. "hug me. If you let go -- you lose."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
8. "umm"?like"?you and me? Yeah. You and me."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
9. "You are to me what an eye patch and parrot is to a pirate."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
10. "You are the hole in my donut."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
11. "I am the pork, you are the beans."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
12. "You make me want to vomit little chocolate hearts."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
13. "You are my personal parachute."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
14. "If you were a margarita, I"d drink you by the bucket."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
15. "I really like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like you."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
16. "If I had my junior high dance to do all over again, I"d lean against the far wall, stare at you, and hate myself for not asking you if you liked the punch."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
17. "I don't love you. I merely enjoy tolerating your existence immensely."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
18. "I"and#27282;l still want to have sex with you even when you"re old, fat, and ugly."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
19. "You had me at "Stop following me"?"?©JOKEDEMO.COM
20. "Your farts smell like vanilla."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
21. "We"re a two person chain gang."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
22. "and#28350;€I am valedictorian of the University of You."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
23. "If you needed a kidney transplant, I"d also throw in a bonus lung."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
24. "The wet, fatty ball of muscle and sinew that pumps my thick, steaming blood to all of my internal organs starts to beat irregularly when you come into my line of sight."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
25. "You are to me what Oprah is to mediocre self-help gurus."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
26. "While you"re in the shower, I collect your skin flakes from the sheets and now I carry them around in this little napkin I keep tied around my neck."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
27. "You suck! So good."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
28. "If you were frozen in Carbonite and taken by bounty hunters, I"d gladly disguise myself, infiltrate a fortress of intergalactic gangsters, threaten them with a thermal detonator, and defrost you myself."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
29. "When I was a kid I was kind of stupid and I thought it would be fun if I stuck a fork in the wall socket and obviously I was thrown across the room. Well, that shock that made my teeth chatter and my hair fall out? That"s like you."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
30. "We are totally codependent and I don't want it any other way."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
31. "This is the "happily ever after"?part of the damn fairy tale, dig?"?©JOKEDEMO.COM
32. "If you were a handful of genital crabs, I"d never change my underwear."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
33. "I"m not saying we shouldn't see other people. I"m just saying I"and#27282;l chase whoever you see out of town with a nail-studded baseball bat."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
34. "I am your blank check. Don't bounce me."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
35. "shut your piehole! Okay -- now kiss me with that beautiful piehole."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
36. "If you were in a horrible accident and they put your head in a saline solution-filled fish tank, I"d feed you, change your water, and carry you on my back everyday until they built you a kick-ass robot body."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
37. "If given the choice between playing roundball like Michael Jordan or raising rugrats with you in a trailer park then I"d be the first to stand in line to buy diapers."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
38. "You"re such a fucking asshole! And so am I. Let"s forgive each other, get drunk, and screw."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
39. "If I was smart, I"d follow you around like a puppy and never, ever crap in the corner."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
40. "Not only would I carry you out of the factory and drive away you away on my sweet chopper"?I"d also buy you a beer and a basket of fries."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
41. I wrote you a poem: "You walk in beauty like the night/ which means you"re the hottest babe in sight/Come home with me so I don't get in a fight/I agree with what you said: you are always right."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
42. "I"m a grown up and just face the facts that you"re my security blanket."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
43. "You don't know it, but right here, right now, is the point in the musical montage part of the movie. Let"s split a pretzel and go for a walk on the footbridge."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
44. "Not only would I die for you, I"d bitch slap Satan a good one, too."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
45."Look: you"re the only one allowed in my bunker. So go get some batteries while I"and#27282;l clean my shotgun."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
46. "I"m a junky for your instant messages."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
47. "I had the weirdest dream last night: I was waking up just as dawn was breaking, but instead of the sun rising on the horizon, it was your glowing face. You were smiling and glowing and it felt to good. Isn't that just strange? I have NO idea what that means. Pass the ketchup."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
48. "You"re my best and only naked friend."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
49. "I"d smoke five packs of you everyday and welcome each and every eventual tumor."?©JOKEDEMO.COM
50. "Let"s set aside cool, ironic detachment for just a moment, shall we? I love you. Wow"?wasn't that just like lame movie Reality Bites? You"ve never seen it? It"s awesome"?in a totally stupid way."?/p>
