Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.©JOKEDEMO.COM

It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're going to steal the neighbor'snewspaper, that's the time to do it.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.©JOKEDEMO.COM

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning toothers.©JOKEDEMO.COM

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probablyworth it.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from badjudgment.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.©JOKEDEMO.COM

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Never miss a good chance to shut up.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a biggerstick.©JOKEDEMO.COM

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.