1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.©JOKEDEMO.COM

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.©JOKEDEMO.COM

3. Yelling at me for barking...I AM A DOG YOU IDIOT!!©JOKEDEMO.COM

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)©JOKEDEMO.COM

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?©JOKEDEMO.COM

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.©JOKEDEMO.COM

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my rear on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?©JOKEDEMO.COM

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.©JOKEDEMO.COM

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?©JOKEDEMO.COM

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew up your stuff or pee on your rug when you're not home.©JOKEDEMO.COM

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?©JOKEDEMO.COM

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.©JOKEDEMO.COM

14. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.©JOKEDEMO.COM

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on messing with us?