Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:©JOKEDEMO.COM
NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.©JOKEDEMO.COM
EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn't likely to.©JOKEDEMO.COM
GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.©JOKEDEMO.COM
TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.©JOKEDEMO.COM
AVOID "WOO-WOO" PRACTICES. Ignore the evidence suggesting that meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and/or mental imaging help to reduce stress. Be a man! That goes for women too.©JOKEDEMO.COM
GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that you concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.©JOKEDEMO.COM
PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!©JOKEDEMO.COM
MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!©JOKEDEMO.COM
BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.©JOKEDEMO.COM
DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.©JOKEDEMO.COM
PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.©JOKEDEMO.COM
WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.©JOKEDEMO.COM
THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one.
