From the original "Hollywood Squares" TV show. These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. Ah, the good old days!©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more "growing older" question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected!©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's the Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver -- that's why they asked the question.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice©JOKEDEMO.COM
Dedicated to the memory of our favorite Hollywood Squares WizeGuy:
Paul Lynde
