I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over... ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm so cared for -- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm not really grouchy...I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Toyota commercials, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like....... ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm beginning to realizing that aging is not for wimps. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen? ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150? ©JOKEDEMO.COM

How can my kids be older than I feel sometimes? ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.