You're in incredible shape."?br />the doctor said. "How old are you again?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

"I am 78."?br />the man said.©JOKEDEMO.COM

"78!" remarked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year-old."©JOKEDEMO.COM

"Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off, and I would go outside for a walk to settle down."?br />the man explained.©JOKEDEMO.COM

"What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor.©JOKEDEMO.COM

"I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Speeding©JOKEDEMO.COM

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "Is there a problem, Officer?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer: "Ma'am, you were speeding."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "Oh, I see."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer: "Can I see your license please?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer: "Don't have one?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer: "I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "I can't do that."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer: "Why not?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "I stole this car."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer: "Stole it?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer: "You what?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see."©JOKEDEMO.COM

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer 2: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!"©JOKEDEMO.COM

The woman steps out of her vehicle.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older woman: "Is there a problem sir?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer 2: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "Murdered the owner?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer 2: "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please."©JOKEDEMO.COM

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma'am?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "Yes, here are the registration papers." The officer is quite stunned.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer 2: "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."©JOKEDEMO.COM

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Officer 2: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner."©JOKEDEMO.COM

Older Woman: "Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!"