Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate when his telephone rang.©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Hallo, Mr. Chirac," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Slingo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Right now," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"©JOKEDEMO.COM
Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"©JOKEDEMO.COM
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"©JOKEDEMO.COM
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."©JOKEDEMO.COM
Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."©JOKEDEMO.COM
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultralight with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"©JOKEDEMO.COM
Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand."©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Oh me goodness!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."©JOKEDEMO.COM
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."©JOKEDEMO.COM
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"©JOKEDEMO.COM
"Well," said Paddy, "We've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."
