You Might Be A Redneck If . . .©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45"s.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . that billboard that says, "say No To Crack"?reminds you to pull up your jeans.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your wife"s hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you go to your family reunions looking for a date.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you think a Volvo is part of a woman"s anatomy.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve got more than three cousins named "Bubba"?©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you have an Elvis Jell-O mold.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve got more than one other named "Darryl"?©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin"?contest.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your favorite entree is Spam barbecued on the grill.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your child"s first words were, "Attention K-Mart shoppers!"?©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin"?©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."?/p>

. . . you kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year"s Eve party.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever valet parked a snow plow.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . the strongest smell in your house is butane.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you think paprika is a Third World country.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you ask the preacher, "how"s it hanging?"?/p>

. . . you go to a stock car race and don't need a program.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you have a bumper sticker that says, "My mother"s an honor student"?at the local junior high.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d"and#27285;euvre.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you played the banjo in your high school band.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you have no hubcaps on your car because you"re using them to feed your hunting dogs.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you can't visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your mother doesn't put shoes on to go grocery shopping.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you owe a taxidermist more than your monthly income.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever caught bugs just so you could throw them in the bug zapper.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . you"ve ever hollered, "and#28137;ock the house, Bubba!"?during a piano recital.©JOKEDEMO.COM

. . . your kids"?favorite bedtime story is "Curious George and the High Voltage Fence."?/p>

. . . your watchband is wider than any book you"ve ever read.