Jewish Definition:©JOKEDEMO.COM
Bar Mitzvah Definition: A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to the realization that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one.
------
Q. How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband?
A. She has a headache with the mailman.
------
Q: What's the difference between a Bris and a Get?
A: With a Get, you're rid of the whole schmuck!
------©JOKEDEMO.COM
How do Jews actually practice their religion in contrast to what rabbis tell us we ought to do? (From Ari Goldman's Book: "Being Jewish: the Spiritual and Cultural Practice of Judaism Today")©JOKEDEMO.COM
1. I don't floss my teeth on Shabbat.
2. I don't eat shellfish on Shabbat.
3. I drive, but not on freeways (on Shabbat).
4. I keep kosher, but only within 50 miles of my home.
5. I keep 3 sets of dishes - for meat, dairy, and Chinese Food.
