* Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!©JOKEDEMO.COM

* I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat, too!©JOKEDEMO.COM

* Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!©JOKEDEMO.COM

* You may touch the dust in this house, but please don't write in it!©JOKEDEMO.COM

* If you write in the dust, please don't date it!©JOKEDEMO.COM

* I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!©JOKEDEMO.COM

* I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.©JOKEDEMO.COM

* If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.©JOKEDEMO.COM

* A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.©JOKEDEMO.COM

* Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.©JOKEDEMO.COM

* Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.©JOKEDEMO.COM

* My house was clean last week; too bad you missed it!