NICKNAMES©JOKEDEMO.COM

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.©JOKEDEMO.COM

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.©JOKEDEMO.COM

EATING OUT©JOKEDEMO.COM

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.©JOKEDEMO.COM

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.©JOKEDEMO.COM

MONEY©JOKEDEMO.COM

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.©JOKEDEMO.COM

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.©JOKEDEMO.COM

BATHROOMS©JOKEDEMO.COM

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.©JOKEDEMO.COM

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.©JOKEDEMO.COM

ARGUMENTS©JOKEDEMO.COM

A woman has the last word in any argument.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.©JOKEDEMO.COM

CATS©JOKEDEMO.COM

Women love cats. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.©JOKEDEMO.COM

FUTURE©JOKEDEMO.COM

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.©JOKEDEMO.COM

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.©JOKEDEMO.COM

SUCCESS©JOKEDEMO.COM

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.©JOKEDEMO.COM

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.©JOKEDEMO.COM

MARRIAGE©JOKEDEMO.COM

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.©JOKEDEMO.COM

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.©JOKEDEMO.COM

DRESSING UP©JOKEDEMO.COM

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.©JOKEDEMO.COM

NATURAL©JOKEDEMO.COM

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.©JOKEDEMO.COM

OFFSPRING©JOKEDEMO.COM

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.©JOKEDEMO.COM

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.©JOKEDEMO.COM

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY©JOKEDEMO.COM

Any married man should forget his mistakes.©JOKEDEMO.COM

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.