The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a computerized history test:©JOKEDEMO.COM
1. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made
unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before
he ever reached Canada.©JOKEDEMO.COM
3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.©JOKEDEMO.COM
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.©JOKEDEMO.COM
5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.©JOKEDEMO.COM
6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.©JOKEDEMO.COM
7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."©JOKEDEMO.COM
8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.©JOKEDEMO.COM
9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."©JOKEDEMO.COM
10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.©JOKEDEMO.COM
11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.©JOKEDEMO.COM
12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.©JOKEDEMO.COM
13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.©JOKEDEMO.COM
14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.©JOKEDEMO.COM
15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.©JOKEDEMO.COM
16. Beethoven wrote music eve though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.©JOKEDEMO.COM
17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.©JOKEDEMO.COM
18. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.©JOKEDEMO.COM
19. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species.©JOKEDEMO.COM
20. Madman Curie discovered the radio.©JOKEDEMO.COM
21. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
