To My Dearest Husband,©JOKEDEMO.COM

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:©JOKEDEMO.COM

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Did not come home at all - 36 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Did not come - 21 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Came too soon - 38 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Cramps in your leg - 16 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Working too late - 33 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"©JOKEDEMO.COM

Love, Your Wife