1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."©JOKEDEMO.COM
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."©JOKEDEMO.COM
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."©JOKEDEMO.COM
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."©JOKEDEMO.COM
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."©JOKEDEMO.COM
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."©JOKEDEMO.COM
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."©JOKEDEMO.COM
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."©JOKEDEMO.COM
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"©JOKEDEMO.COM
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."©JOKEDEMO.COM
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."©JOKEDEMO.COM
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"©JOKEDEMO.COM
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."©JOKEDEMO.COM
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father."©JOKEDEMO.COM
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do,"©JOKEDEMO.COM
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait till we get home."©JOKEDEMO.COM
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when we get home."©JOKEDEMO.COM
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."©JOKEDEMO.COM
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"©JOKEDEMO.COM
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."©JOKEDEMO.COM
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."©JOKEDEMO.COM
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."©JOKEDEMO.COM
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"©JOKEDEMO.COM
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."©JOKEDEMO.COM
And the best lesson....©JOKEDEMO.COM
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
