To My Dearest Wife,©JOKEDEMO.COM

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:©JOKEDEMO.COM

We will wake the kids - 54 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

It's too late - 15 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

I'm too tired - 42 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

It's too early - 12 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

It's too hot - 18 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

The neighbors will hear - 9 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Headache or backache - 26 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Sunburn - 10 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Your mother will hear us - 9 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Not in the mood - 21 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Watching the late show - 17 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Too sore - 26 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

New hairdo - 6 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Wrong time of the month - 14 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times©JOKEDEMO.COM

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??©JOKEDEMO.COM

Love, Your Hubby