Always take the time to smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek... nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

It's always darkest just before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors' newspaper, that's the time to do it. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown... and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

It takes a big man to cry.. .but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

When I'm feeling down I like to whistle... it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.