Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo ©JOKEDEMO.COM

Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550lbs.
Occurence: Copious quantities throughout the world. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

Physical properties:
Surface usually covered with a painted field and a variety of esthers.
Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
Melts when given special treatment. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

Bitter if incorrectly used.
Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.
Yields to pressure applied at correct points. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

Chemical properties:
Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
Absorbs great quantities of attention. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

VOLATILE: May explode without warning for no apparent reason.
Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

Most common uses:
Primarily ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Found to be a great aid to relaxation. ©JOKEDEMO.COM

Tests:
Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in its natural state.
Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen.©JOKEDEMO.COM

Hazards:
Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.
Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.