Customer Service Rep: Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install love. Can you guide me through the process?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH- ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Heart's in order to get the upgrades.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: What does the message say?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: So what should I do?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Yes, I have it.©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Thank you.©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back, you will need to empty your recycle bin.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?©JOKEDEMO.COM
C Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: Yes?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.©JOKEDEMO.COM
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?©JOKEDEMO.COM
CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician. Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.
