The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, ''I'm off. The man should be here soon."©JOKEDEMO.COM
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ''Good morning, madam. You don't know me but I've come to....''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,'' Mrs. Smith cut in.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Really ?'' the photographer asked. ''Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies.''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?'' asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me.''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''I hope we can get this over with quickly,'' gasped Mrs. Smith.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Don't I know!'' Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ''This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London.''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Oh my god!!'', Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'' The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''She was difficult ?'' asked Mrs. Smith.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.'' ©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Four and five deep?'' asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Yes,'' the photographer said.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.'' Mrs. Smith leaned forward.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment ?''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.''©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Tripod??'', Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.©JOKEDEMO.COM
''Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam ? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!''
