NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)©JOKEDEMO.COM

LOCATION: Throughout the world©JOKEDEMO.COM

DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and subspecies.©JOKEDEMO.COM

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks, mainly women, in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. However, it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which may result in an incurable disease and possible death.©JOKEDEMO.COM

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.©JOKEDEMO.COM

ANTIDOTE:Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.©JOKEDEMO.COM

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED©JOKEDEMO.COM

TORNIQUET: Do not apply a torniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.©JOKEDEMO.COM

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.©JOKEDEMO.COM

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.©JOKEDEMO.COM

MILKING THE SNAKE
1. Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.©JOKEDEMO.COM

CONCLUSION:
This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and, treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.