My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.©JOKEDEMO.COM

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you."©JOKEDEMO.COM

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.©JOKEDEMO.COM

He said, "since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly."?She said, "Well, you succeeded."?/p>

He said, "shall we try swapping positions tonight?"?She said, "That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."?/p>

He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"?She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."?/p>