1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.©JOKEDEMO.COM

2. Don't let anyone tell you you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.©JOKEDEMO.COM

3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.©JOKEDEMO.COM

4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.©JOKEDEMO.COM

5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!©JOKEDEMO.COM

6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?©JOKEDEMO.COM

7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.©JOKEDEMO.COM

8. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.©JOKEDEMO.COM

9. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.©JOKEDEMO.COM

10. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the rear.©JOKEDEMO.COM

11. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.©JOKEDEMO.COM

12. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.©JOKEDEMO.COM

13. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.©JOKEDEMO.COM

14. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.©JOKEDEMO.COM

15. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, and blind they don't recognize you.©JOKEDEMO.COM

16. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.©JOKEDEMO.COM

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST©JOKEDEMO.COM

17. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.