1. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience!
2. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.©JOKEDEMO.COM

3. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.©JOKEDEMO.COM

4. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.©JOKEDEMO.COM

5. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.©JOKEDEMO.COM

6. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.©JOKEDEMO.COM

7. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.©JOKEDEMO.COM

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.©JOKEDEMO.COM

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.©JOKEDEMO.COM

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.©JOKEDEMO.COM

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.©JOKEDEMO.COM

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.©JOKEDEMO.COM

13. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away two weeks before you need it.©JOKEDEMO.COM

14. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.©JOKEDEMO.COM

15. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.©JOKEDEMO.COM

16. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.